Earlier today a co-worker mentioned that she heard about this column on some all-news channel... Somewhat irreverent, definitely not politically correct, but a fun read.
Here's a sample:
I’m fairly sure that your jibes against Guatemalans are mostly for comic effect, but, entre broma y broma, algo se asoma. What have you got against the true raza cósmica?
“Between joke and joke, something peeks out.” Nice dicho (aphorism), Guapo! But you didn’t ask a question about Mexicans, pendejo. I’ll make an exception, though, since the United States’ third-team soccer squad humiliated the Guatemalan side Sept. 7 by a 0-0 score, making Mexicans and chapines brothers in sporting futility.
Mexicans despise Guatemalans for many legitimate reasons. Your tamales are better—our puny corn variety doesn’t compare to your wondrous paches, potato tamales stuffed with chicken and just about the most filling, tasteful snack in the Americas. The Mayans contributed more to world culture than the Aztecs—did you know the Mayan calendar remains the most accurate in history? Your national bird, the long-feathered quetzal, is prettier than our golden eagle. In 1821, free from the yoke of Spanish rule, Guatemala joined the burgeoning Empire of Mexico—only to spurn us two years later for the United Provinces of Central America, a coalition of Central American nations created to resemble the United States but whose corruption and monocultural economics instead inspired the term “banana republic.”
But Mexicans hate Guatemalans mostly because of immigration, Guapo. Mexico can barely control its southern border with Guatemala because the Guatemalan government does nada to secure its side, leaving Mexico exposed to illegal immigrants, drug runners and terrorists. Guatemalans top Mexico’s annual list of the most-deported. And the Guatemalans who do cross over dress funny, are darker-skinned than the average Mexican and don’t like salsa—some don’t even speak Spanish! Guatemalans are the Mexicans of Mexico—and who doesn’t hate Mexicans?